Posts Tagged ‘ Dick Cheney ’

Perilous Predictions for 2011

January 3, 2011
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Early in the year, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney both confess that from the very beginning the whole weapons of mass destruction/al-Qaeda had ties to Saddam Hussein thing was a total fabrication - and - the entire Iraq War was a total fraud that was all about Big Oil.  Criminal proceedings begin.  The next day on his show, Rush Limbaugh explains to his audience that the confessions were false, based on a voodoo curse put on them by Bill Clinton before he left office.  The day after that,  a Rasmussen poll will show that 20% of the American population buys into this.  Thus, the beginning of the “curser movement.” In late spring, Glenn Beck will define the following groups as “domestic terrorists” – all public school teachers, all union members, all Democrats, all moderate Republicans, The Humane Society, The Red Cross, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts of America and Christian Scientists.  The next day, a CBS/NY Times poll shows 29% of the American population buy into this. Sarah Palin develops a severe eating disorder and accuses Michelle Obama of trying to cut off her credit with Dominoes Pizza. Failed Teabagger endorsed Nevada Senatorial Candidate Sharron Angle returns to the…

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The Tattlesnake – Clueless Wall Street Indulges in the Self-Delusion of the Wealthy Edition

January 3, 2011
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… and it’s nothing new. As 2011 settles in, some things haven’t changed, such as the investment bank aristocracy of Wall Street, already wallowing in obscenely large salaries, apparently believing they deserve bonuses for continuing to peddle worthless paper and hoodwinking their own customers. This addled belief, however, is nothing new. Having misspent a part of my youth as an advertising director for a publishing company, I once had an opportunity to encounter some wealthy people at business lunches and dinners, and noticed a few habits of hypocritical thinking they had in common: – To a man — and they were all men — they believed, even the silver-spoon-born trust fund scions and coddled bosses sons, that they were ‘self-made’ and everything they had was attained by their own hard work, even if their wealth was derived mostly from dividend income, the result of a long-dead relative picking the right investments or starting a successful business. – Speaking of hard work, when these VIPs came in at 10:am to check the mail and sign a few letters, left for a two-hour lunch at 12:30, and then went golfing for the rest of the afternoon, leaving their overworked and underpaid secretaries…

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Alternative Titles for Bush’s Book – Part Two

November 11, 2010
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Alternative Titles for Bush’s Book – Part Two

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The Tattlesnake Dick Cheney Doesn’t Have a Pulse Edition

July 16, 2010
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Rachel Maddow reported July 14th that five-heart-attacks-since-he-was-37 Dick Cheney is hanging on by a thread following complete heart failure, kept alive only by a machine called a LVAD resting externally on his belly that keeps his blood moving. Ironically, because an external machine is circulating his blood rather than his damaged heart, Cheney apparently has no pulse, not that I would have sworn he had one before. Although I wouldn’t wish death on any human being (leave that to the kill-crazy wingnuts; I’d rather see him in jail), and Deadeye Dick marginally qualifies in that category, this would seem to be close to the end of the line for the Torture Boy the doctors can do no more except a full heart transplant and he’s physically in such bad shape he likely couldn’t survive the operation. (Although the sci-fi plot possibilities of Cheney receiving the heart of, say, a peaceful Buddhist monk and publicly renouncing his past self is nearly irresistible. “I’ve done wrong and now I must pay the price! President Obama, put me in prison for war crimes waterboard me, I insist! And I’m donating all of my millions in wealth to Green Peace! Liz, stop…

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GOP is Still Dick Cheney’s Doomed Grand Oil Party

June 26, 2010
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GOP is Still Dick Cheney’s Doomed Grand Oil Party

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The Tattlesnake It’s McChrystal Clear: The General is Running for President Edition

June 22, 2010
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By publicly making derogatory comments about his superiors in the chain of command President Obama, VP Biden, Defense Secretary Gates, White House National Security Adviser Gen. Jim Jones — US Army Gen. Stanley McChrystal has committed an act of rank insubordination, and I think he did it intentionally. Subsequent apologies for his loose-lipped Rolling Stone interview notwithstanding, McChrystal knows Obama must, in order to maintain what little credibility he has with the military as commander-in-chief, relieve McChrystal of his command and he should break him in rank down to a Colonel or, at least, Brigadier General, but, considering Obama’s reticence in such matters, he likely won’t do the latter. McChrystal well knows that if he wants to criticize his superiors there is a legitimate and honorable way to do so resign his commission and fire away as a civilian. Instead, the wily general has manufactured a situation wherein Obama must relieve him or lose all respect with the military establishment and a good portion of the public, as well. Why would McChrystal set up such a situation? The easiest answer is that he’s planning on running for president as a Republican in 2012 and he can use it…

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The End of Oilzilla?

June 13, 2010
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The End of Oilzilla?

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The News Pauper: The Birth of The Cheneyville

June 12, 2010
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By W.B. Dunne The latest PR motivated, public distracting, demonstration from BP is the unveiling of a real military-camp style recovery village. It is said to be able to accommodate 1500 workers. The NP says we call em all Cheneyvilles, because if this is going to be a serious attempt at responding and not some act for the cameras, were going to need lots and lots of them all across the coast. Have you ever lived in a bunkhouse? The NP has toured North America in the relative luxury of a crew coach with eight bunks and a stateroom, and hated the claustrophobic feel of the coffin-sized bunks. The bunkhouses sleep 24, but somehow it doesnt sound like a slumber party. BP stated that the camp could be in action for up to six monthsso now we know how completely delusional the home office must be to try to resurrect the Friedman unit we used to measure the success of the surges in Iraq! Is this the subtlety we can expect from BPs new spokesie, Mr. Suttle? The NP wonders aloud which Halliburton contractor is electrifying the showers. From Wikipedia: “Potemkin villages is a fixed phrase based on a…

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BeePeeMan Tony Hayward Reveals His True Identity!

June 12, 2010
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BeePeeMan Tony Hayward Reveals His True Identity!

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The News Pauper: FreedomWorks Matt Kibbe Is A Neocon Shill

June 11, 2010
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By W.B. Dunne Here is an example of a statement that the NP thinks typifies the right-wing subterfuge of our discourse: (h/t to Crooks and Liars) Matt Kibbe: “Well I think if you look at whats happened down there, its a sad story of government incompetence as well as negligence on the part of BP. And I think what you have to look at is when there is a natural disaster like this we do expect our government to do some things and to do them well. And the whole point of limited government is you want the government to be competent at those few things that we need it to do and this is an example where the government was asleep at the switch and theres a series of regulations that led to deep drilling as opposed to more economical and safer options.” Take a look at that first sentence Always CYA with I think, in case down the road you need to say, I USED to think to escape enhanced techniques of interrogation! “Well I think if you look at whats happened down there, its a sad story of government incompetence as well as negligence on the part…

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