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These top ten lists get tedious, and this one’s no different. 1. “This Land Ain’t Your Land, This Land Is MY Land” Scotty and the Koch Brothers 2. “America The Profitable” Moe Greenback and the Wall Streeters 3. “Take Your Job And Shove It” The U.S. Chamber of Commerce 4. “Dead Man’s Curve” Chris Christie and the Budget Cutters 5. “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” The Palin Family Choir 6. “Viva Low Wages!” Wal Mart and the New Peasants 7. “It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To” Long John Boehner and the Wailers 8. “Liar, Liar (Pants On Fire)” Mike Huckabee and the Birthers 9. “He Got The Gold Mine And I Got the Shaft” Glenn Beck’s Suckers 10. “(Here It Comes Your) 19th Nervous Breakdown” Michele Bachmann and her Teabaggers ©2011 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Watch out, he’s petting his peeves again! Messages scribbled on Post-It Notes that were giving me a brain-ache until I wrote them down. Note to Abraham Lincoln, wherever he is now: It’s just as well you’re not around today. The idea that Haley “Yazoo City” Barbour and Rick “Secesh” Perry are Republicans would no doubt give you severe apoplexy followed by a fatal stroke anyway. Note to George Washington, wherever he is now: Good thing you’re not around, either, to see this 21st century bobblehead-doll America where a good portion of the politicians and electorate, abetted by the dumbed-down corporate media, have forgotten how to read, especially where the Constitution and the Bible are concerned. Note to Arianna Huffington: A quote from Balzac seems appropriate: “Behind every great fortune there is a great crime.” Take a couple of million from the $315 mil you got from AOL and throw a few bucks at all the people who worked for free to make your website worth selling. BTW, I can’t find even one person who thinks your AOL merger is a good idea or cares to read your website again. Prediction: the AOL-Huff Post is toast. Note to Clarence Thomas: What…
Glimpses Behind the Curtain of Our Blutocracy “Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!” – Sen. John “Bluto” Blutarsky, from the film “Animal House” (1978). BACHMANNALIA: 1. The sound wild-eyed gibberish makes in a rubber room. 2. An election-year holiday celebrating the unity of corporate money and gullible voters with sensibilities as squishy as wet teabags. 3. A sexless outdoor orgy in Minnesota in mid-winter, the quintessential Republican idea of how the public should be treated. BACHMANNLINESS: 1. Putting on your ‘man pants’ backwards, while staring at the wrong camera. 2. Having the balls to misquote the Constitution on national television. BLUTOCRACY: 1. A plutocracy as operated by Sen. John Blutarsky, the fictional ‘Bluto’ character from the film “Animal House,” and those who are likeminded. 2. The USA today, and not the newspaper. 3. Wall Street week. BOEHNALITY: 1. Crocodile tears shed by one who is only half-crocked. 2. Pretending you’re in control of something you plainly are not, such as a bus when the steering wheel has come off in your hand. 3. The illusion that you stand for anything beyond your own personal gain and your…
Your Tattler remembers well the Chicago blizzard of 1979 that buried the city under several feet of the stuff, along with the political future of Chicago Mayor Michael Bilandic. Days after the snow stopped, the side streets were still not plowed, main arteries were narrow two-lane ruts in the snow, and parking was a matter of driving into a snow bank and digging your car out the next day. If that was not aggravating enough, Bilandic had the chutzpah to go on TV and assure Chicagoans all was well and that things had been plowed – including designated public parking areas – that were not. The anger of city-dwellers reached the boiling point over those jaw-dropping pronouncements and, in one of those incredible political miracles, Daley Machine inheritor Bilandic lost his sure-thing nomination to Jane Byrne in the Democratic primary, and Byrne went on to become Chicago’s first woman mayor. New York City’s independent ‘No Labels’ Mayor Michael Bloomberg apparently forgot the lesson of Bilandic, if he ever learned it. Yes, voters often have short memories, but not when it comes to the tangible physical and mental stress engendered by a massive snowstorm. Seeing your expensively-attired billionaire mayor, appearing dry…