Posts Tagged ‘ The News Pauper ’

The News Pauper: So You Say You Won…Fair and Square

November 4, 2010
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By W.B. Dunne This one goes out to the youngsters out there who have only begun to experience the political process in America. The ones who voted Obama into office and are now seeing the correction for the first time in these midterms: The Democrats won in a landslide in 2010 for the first time ever in a midterm election, and the fact that there is a “Speaker Boehner” on November third is due to a Supreme Court decision, the Koch Brothers, Fox News, the US Chamber of Commerce, and Karl Rove. The NP reminds the young voter that the great court supported the corrupted GOP with its Citizens United decision, allowing for unlimited and undisclosed money from corporations and foreign interests in the campaign. The unintended consequence was that it helped the Tea Party candidates too, and that fact threatens to split the right wing in the House of Representatives. A silver lining for Progressives if ever there was one! Hundreds of millions of dollars in campaign interference has bought the corporate masters precious little. Speaker Boehner will get what he always wanted and was promised long ago, the mantle of Head of the GOP Majority, but it will…

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The News Pauper: The Only Thing Youll Ever Need to Know

August 12, 2010
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By W.B. Dunne Oh, how the News Pauper regrets being able to think critically! My time would be so much better spent with the masses, speculating aimlessly for hours about how to survive the coming calamities. Should I join a group or enclave of doomers? How much duct tape should I have put aside for my children and grandchildren if the manufacture of such stuff ends suddenly? In case the reader has missed the sarcasm dripping off the last paragraph, he or she is probably on to the trick and about to ask, “where the hell have you been News Pauper?” Yes, I have been silent for most of the summer due to an utter inability to join in any discussion that doesnt have to do with the disaster we have made of the Gulf of Mexico! The only thing that exceeds the depth of the effects of this gargantuan fuck up is the callous way the story has been moved down the page by our crippled press and the collusion of all parties to cover up the true nature of the facts. I find it fascinating that the reason the press has continued to fail us in such grand…

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July 1, 2010
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By W.B. Dunne The News Pauper thinks that its just weird that the apologists for BP can say such things that simply defy reason. I am especially fond of the specious argument that the dirty fucking hippies forced the industry into deeper, more dangerous water. Such incredible positions make one desire to see what led them there, like when you happen upon a car thrown by calamity through a high billboard. (That pic exists out there Im sure.) After mulling the dilemma over and over again and running into the dead end that also must arrest the thought process of those that traffic such polluted musings, the NP stumbled upon the answer. Like any criminal caught in the act, the purveyors of this line have to know deep down that their own actions put them there. In their blind support of the policy put forth by the flag-waving hypocrites of the last administration, they laid the trap they find themselves in now. The twisted logic is a reflex, however — twisting and rending the story doesnt change the reality that greed prevented the drillers from putting systems in place that would insure against this disaster. Like any sociopath, when the…

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The News Pauper: The Birth of The Cheneyville

June 12, 2010
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By W.B. Dunne The latest PR motivated, public distracting, demonstration from BP is the unveiling of a real military-camp style recovery village. It is said to be able to accommodate 1500 workers. The NP says we call em all Cheneyvilles, because if this is going to be a serious attempt at responding and not some act for the cameras, were going to need lots and lots of them all across the coast. Have you ever lived in a bunkhouse? The NP has toured North America in the relative luxury of a crew coach with eight bunks and a stateroom, and hated the claustrophobic feel of the coffin-sized bunks. The bunkhouses sleep 24, but somehow it doesnt sound like a slumber party. BP stated that the camp could be in action for up to six monthsso now we know how completely delusional the home office must be to try to resurrect the Friedman unit we used to measure the success of the surges in Iraq! Is this the subtlety we can expect from BPs new spokesie, Mr. Suttle? The NP wonders aloud which Halliburton contractor is electrifying the showers. From Wikipedia: “Potemkin villages is a fixed phrase based on a…

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The News Pauper: FreedomWorks Matt Kibbe Is A Neocon Shill

June 11, 2010
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By W.B. Dunne Here is an example of a statement that the NP thinks typifies the right-wing subterfuge of our discourse: (h/t to Crooks and Liars) Matt Kibbe: “Well I think if you look at whats happened down there, its a sad story of government incompetence as well as negligence on the part of BP. And I think what you have to look at is when there is a natural disaster like this we do expect our government to do some things and to do them well. And the whole point of limited government is you want the government to be competent at those few things that we need it to do and this is an example where the government was asleep at the switch and theres a series of regulations that led to deep drilling as opposed to more economical and safer options.” Take a look at that first sentence Always CYA with I think, in case down the road you need to say, I USED to think to escape enhanced techniques of interrogation! “Well I think if you look at whats happened down there, its a sad story of government incompetence as well as negligence on the part…

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The News Pauper: Were In It Deep

June 8, 2010
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By W.B. Dunne Today in the news there is the story of 13 dead and missing in Texasin a well explosion. I wonder if the bookmakers had to pay out much. I wonder if they made a profit in the insurance payout. There ought to be a site that panders to my desire to know these kinds of things. The NP in an earlier time was a sound tech for a film being shot in Wyoming. We took a light aircraft to an airport on top of a small mountain and, on the approach, I was treated to the spectacle to what the British Petroleum Company and Halliburton had done to the landscape. The roads that served the copper concerns were red, the coal roads were black, and the entire landscape for as far as one could see was dotted with natural gas wells. The roads that led to them were apparently bulldozed out of the tundra and served only the well, but at least they shared the color of the land surrounding it. The first bit of wildlife I encountered was what I initially thought was some kind of wild mountain goatbut upon approaching them with the van they…

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The News Pauper: This Is It

June 1, 2010
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By W.B. Dunne The News Pauper humbly regrets his inability to post regularly. It in no way reflects on the dear readerhere is my latest attempt to say something regarding what is certain to become the most devastating disaster done to us by the Bush-Cheney Cabal. The NP suspects British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward is making these insane comments in order to divert attention from the fact that BP is not going to let their profits go to save a bunch of fucking turtles. Until they can cap that well and feed it into tankers, theyll let that baby spill. Hell probably get a bonus too, if he can successfully bullshit his way through the crisis and keeps those stock prices up. I think that the South deserves to be polluted for generations. Their backward thinking and blind support of the robber barons that twisted their trust and faith and patriotism has finally come home to roost. Already there have been anecdotal stories popping up of oil-tinged rain falling in central Florida, there have also been reports of a more reliable nature telling of fisherman engaged by BP in the cleanup becoming ill with nosebleeds and respiratory ailments. How many…

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The News Pauper: Culled from the Chicago Rants and Raves Craigslist Page

March 15, 2010
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By W.B. Dunne I dont know who these guys are, but they are discussing things! (Lightly edited for readability.) Re: Good News survey Date: 2010-03-14, 10:39PM Thanks for the first semi-civil response [to] Good News! I see I am gaining ground with you. I am more than happy to engage in this sort of positive exchange, and we may see me receive my ambassadorship yet! 1. Do you believe in ‘spread the wealth’? I believe in widespread generosity and the existence of a social safety net for those unable to contribute. I certainly agree with the enforcement of the tax code that requires fair and equitable contributions by all citizenry, especially corporations, to provide for the needed infrastructure and public projects. There needs to be a solution to the reality that allows 2/3′s of US companies paying zero tax via loopholes. I believe in the taxes collected being used to lift the condition of the citizenry through education, to provide for defense, law enforcement, and healthcare. I certainly believe that the pre-Eisenhower tax brackets are fair and should be re-imposed. (Keep in mind that this is more money than you and I will ever make.) Yes, I believe in the…

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The News Pauper: The Quiet Ones

February 17, 2010
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By W.B. Dunne It may be the status quo that the right-wing of the political spectrum in this country has bragging rights on who has the farthest out, most violent, stupidest supporters. In the entire history of this country it has always been the right that provides the most madness, the least progress, and the greatest potential for sudden violent action. But the News Pauper maintains that we have reached an era where the old template doesnt quite fit anymore. I have been witnessing a dynamic I am unfamiliar with. Never before has the apparatus for disseminating hatred and misinformation had such a heavily greased track to ride on. I wonder if the stirring I feel is the awakening of a real Godzilla. Could it be that all the overkill engaged in by the likes of Fox and friends has gone too far and desensitized its target market? They have an apparatus that Goebbels would have recognized and slobbered over, but is the incompetence with which they operate their undoing? It is no longer necessary to invoke the cry for authoritarian tyranny through the false flag. One can traumatize just as severely without giving the masses as much as a…

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The News Pauper: Shortest Post Ever

January 24, 2010
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by W.B. Dunne Shortest. Post. Ever. Whats the dif between a corporation and a person? A corporation can kill a person. Contact the News Pauper at WBDunne@ltsaloon.org 2010 W.B. Dunne. All Rights Reserved.

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