Written by Ken Carman

 Since 5003 we have been gathering species from across the universe. Once we were told beyond the speed of light was impossible, but that was before we learn to fold space. Now it’s 5123 and I’m the zookeeper.
 I hope they don’t find me out.
 The male in cage 223 was brought in about a year ago. At first he was so ugly they thought of disposing of him: the patrons of the zoo found him hideous. But I have been talking to the board about opening a geek section at the zoo and they seem sold on the idea because, well, it will pay the bills.
 Of course my idea was a ruse.
 Is something wrong with me?
 I have been in a relationship with Zada since the first molting. We live through about 120 molts, and I expect to be with him until the last molt. We have even kept the shells from our fondest moments to remember of the good times. But ever since I saw the specimen I have had the oddest desires.
 He screams when I enter the cage. He screams when I hold his four appendages back and shove my pit down on his appendage. Sometimes he passes out. But I can’t stop myself.
 Must be so inconvenient only to have two appendages to hold things with, and two to walk.
 Because I am female, and in charge, when I was young my fellow females would have cheered me on, perversion being more the province of the young. Wonder if that’s true where he comes from too?
  But now I fear all will view my actions only with disgust. Thank the Most Holy Molter on High I’m not male or they might seal me in the shell so next time I molt, I die. Sexual perversion is legally pursued far more often when you’re a male.
 However today I found the specimen dead.
 They are coming to take away his body and dissect him.
 Did I leave any fluids?
 I hope not.
 They might hire another zookeeper and make me work under him. I have no fear of being fired.
 Yes, thank the Most Holy Molter on High I’m not male. Maybe the specimen is better off dead. If he ever escaped surely his kind would kill him, for the natural order must make him the inferior sex where he comes from too, right?
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Ken Carman
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