Think you were paying attention during the long 2008 election campaign? Grab a pen and paper and take the test below (and no cheating with the Google):

1. Hillary Clinton used it and lost. John McCain used it and lost. What was it?

2. Did John McCain actually have any casual, free-for-all talks with reporters on his ‘Straight Talk’ campaign jet as he did on his bus?

3. Obama confessed during the campaign to loving two white women in his life. Who were they?

4. According to news reports, what was McCain’s favorite breakfast?

5. Who said “there is absolutely no diva in me”?

a. Hillary Clinton
b. Sarah Palin
c. Michelle Obama
d. Cindy McCain

6. After Obama’s landslide, which famous former broadcast network anchorman continued to declare this was a ‘center-right’ country?

7. Which McCain campaign aide told the media that they wouldn’t be allowed to interview Sarah Palin unless they were properly respectful?

8. What special award did Sarah Palin win at the Miss Alaska beauty contest?

9. What did Obama promise his two daughters he’d do if he became president?

10. From the items below, pick one that wasn’t an issue for Sarah Palin in the 2008 campaign:

a. Misusing her state expense account.
b. Abusing her power in attempting to fire a state trooper.
c. Overspending her McCain campaign clothing allowance.
d. Visiting a remote Aleutian island to ‘see Russia.’
e. Her involvement with the secessionist Alaska Independence Party.
f. Insulting members of the Alaska legislature on a radio show.
g. The crazy pastor at her Wasilla church.
h. Her close friendship with corrupt Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens.
i. The ‘Bridge to Nowhere’ that she accepted federal money to build.
j. Campaigning for the Reform Party presidential candidate in the 2000 election.

11. Was Sarah Palin ever asked by the media what the initials NAFTA stood for, or to name any countries in Africa?

12. Who said in April 2008: “I’m as healthy as the economy”?

a. John McCain
b. George W. Bush
c. Henry Paulson
d. Joe Biden
e. Alan Greenspan
f. Rush Limbaugh

Answers below the fold.

ANSWERS

1. The theme from the movie ‘Rocky.’

2. No.

3. His mother and grandmother, fool.

4. Glazed donuts and Dunkin’ Donuts coffee.

5. b. Sarah Palin on Nov. 5, 2008.

6. Tom Brokaw of NBC.

7. Rick Davis, McCain’s campaign manager.

8. She was named ‘Miss Congeniality.’

9. Get them a dog.

10. d. There were no reports she tried to visit a remote Aleutian island to ‘see Russia.’

11. No.

12. John McCain on April 6, 2008.

Total your score, giving yourself a point for each correct answer, and read below for what it means:

0 to 2 correct: How’s that cabin in the wilderness working out for you, Mr. Kaczynski?

3 to 6 correct: Glad to see you pay attention to the news occasionally. Did you hear Obama was elected?

7 to 11 correct: Okay, so you’re a political junkie, but there’s still time to save your happy home, unless the spouse/significant other is a P.J. too, in which case you’re both doomed.

All 12 correct: Whew! Time to get out from behind that computer keyboard and reconnect with the human race if you still can.