Ana is cozily ensconced in a comfy little room of her daughter’s house, awaiting the financial and legal machinations that will allow her to finally move into her new micro-farm. Perhaps a little too comfy. Though the light at the end of the tunnel of moving can be seen, the way is cluttered with the odds and ends that have not yet made their way to storage, a new home, the thrift shop or the trash. The craft room waits to be packed with all of its odds and ends, bits and pieces and paraphernalia, and we are out of boxes. We have also run out of steam. It is so much easier and more desirable to hang out at our new places and rest, or settle in – but the landlord is showing the house to prospective tenants, and we have only a week left of our lease. Somehow I must find a day to coordinate with someone who can help me move the big items (rabbit cage and compost bin), and get enough ambition and energy to do the rest of the little things, like scrubbing floors and checking the walls for scuff marks.

I now understand why folks who can afford it, simply walk away and forfeit their security deposit. Having cleaned up trash left behind by the former tenant, and being someone who financially can’t really afford to lose my deposit, I am not amused. The poor behavior of others is part of why security deposits are so darn high in this town.

Since our furniture is gone, there is nowhere to rest comfortably at the old place anymore. I need to get down there and get busy, come home, clean up, and hopefully fit in a nap before heading off to work. Maybe stronger coffee would help.

The physical work has left me tired out for sure, but there is emotional trauma as well. Though this move will ultimately get me back on a farm, the stress of time, money and physical ability, echoes the exodus from my home farm enough to be unsettling. Then I was forced to leave the home where my youthful dreams of raising a family played out. Now I will be going to a farm, and a new community alone with dreams that I may not have the body physical to achieve. Time will tell, and I am really more hopeful than these phrases reflect. Even pleasant dreams can have stealthy shadows.

So for now I relax and recover when I can, and pull up on those boot straps when I must. For better or worse this part of the move will be finished in a week. The move in January will be simpler. Everything can go to one place, and it will already be packed and on the ground level. The new house has a wheel chair ramp – no stairs!!!!!!