A Rogue By Any Other Name

From an AP news story yesterday:

US Security Firm Mired in Iraq Controversy Changes Its Name
Blackwater Worldwide renamed Xe as company tries to salvage its tarnished brand

The Associated Press
February 13, 2009

Blackwater Worldwide is abandoning its tarnished brand name as it tries to shake a reputation battered by oft-criticised work in Iraq, renaming its family of two dozen businesses under the name Xe. The parent company’s new name is pronounced like the letter z.

Read the rest of the AP article here.

Now that the schutzstaffel wannabes at Blackwater have taken the plunge, perhaps some of our other fetid corporations will do likewise to improve their ‘brand image’:

Halliburton could rename itself ‘Dick’s Kids’ — “Won’t you help them help themselves with your tax dollars?”;

Kellogg, Brown & Root could turn into ‘Beds, Breakfasts & Beyond’ — “You’ll be shocked at our low prices!”

General Dynamics could become ‘Jets ‘n’ Stuff’ — “Hey, there, America, we’re flyin’ for you!”

ExxonMobil could go with ‘OXOXOX’ — “We just love you and you’ll love us!”;

DynCorp could become ‘The Dyners Club International’ — “Always at your service!”;

Bechtel could be rebranded as ‘Builder’s Square’ — “From a shed to a skyscraper, we’re on your side!”;

The Carlyle Group could change its name to ‘Defense R Us’ — “If it rolls, flies or floats, we’re there!”;

And Blackwater itself, instead of the weird ‘Xe,’ could change its name again to the more comforting ‘Snuggle Security’ — “We’re your blankie when you’re afraid.”