You may have noticed, gentle reader, that Ye Olde has been missing for more than a few weeks. From deep inside his anti-Archie Bunker he has been recovering from one big party induced headache. If only Junior and Biggus had been led away in chains Scribe woulda partied so hardy he’d still be zithered.

He came out of his bunker and found a big rainbow. Damn Jesse Jackson Coalition. Not that? Created by the Rainbow People? Damn hippies. Not that? Oh, nobody’s Mama Obama actually WON!?!? The birds were all a twittering. No? That was the sound of some regressive progressives on the Left sharpening their knives; you know, that “special” back stabbing cutlery already stained with the blood of Al Gore, Bill and Hillary Clinton?

Well, anywhosiewhatsis, all this time Scribe has been gathering quotes, links and other specters pleasurable; and not so. Time to examine what Scribe saved. Perhaps you will find a few gems amongst the expelled roughage…

Spooky Quotes
“Haunting the Net Since February 19th, 2009.”

What did I do wrong? I did more to protect my Mistress than Junior ever did to protect his country from bin Laden.

-Ghost of a Dead Chimp

Funny Quotes
“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, hahahahahahaha… what was Scribe laughing about?”

Is it possible to get downsized when employed by a penis enlargement company?

–caller to Alex Bennett show 1/30/09

Finally… the TRUTH
“Well, ‘finally’ before they died.”

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say that there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.

~Frank Zappa

The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision

–Helen Keller

Ye Olde Scribe’s Links to Oblivion
“Because sausage ain’t the only kinda link when surfing the net.”

Ever have anyone tell you you have rats for brains? Neither has Scribe. But take it as a compliment when a rat brain grown by scientists can pilot a jet fighter far better than Junior ever did.

Ever hear the phrase, “Who gives a __________? Well someone sure did about this guy.

Scribe saw a chupacabra last Summer. It looked nothing like THIS. It was really just some a odd version of a coyote, or coy-dog as some speculate. It had a long tail with a puff on the end, panda bear like ears and fox like face. Damn near hairless other wise. It looked like THIS.

Do ya think maybe all this thievery in Junior’s administration was caused by goats? Well, some think that they’re Satan’s representatives here on Earth, and their privates sure smell like Hell. But this story proves that at least some believe such criminals can transform into a goat. Bet these guys have a lot in common with our equally superstitious Fundies here in America.

Damn, Scribe Wish He’d Said THAT
“Beating Scribe to the rhetorical punch.”

Dick Cheney, doing his best impression of “The Penguin,” appeared on Fox News, stating with his Pottersville smile, “I feel very good about a lot of the things we’ve done in this administration. I think that they will be viewed in a favorable light when it’s time to write the history of this era.”

If it’s written by squirrels.

– Ed Naha

An infinite God ought to be able to protect Himself, without going in partnership with State Legislatures.

Robert Ingersoll (Quite possibly a distant relative of Scribe’s)

Scribe can’t remember if he posted this last one or not, but hey, it’s a ha ha anyway…

Mexican dish

An American was touring Mexico. After his day sight-seeing, he stops at a local restaurant.
While sipping his wine, he notices a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only it looked good, but the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, “What was that you just served the gentleman at the next table?”
The waiter replied, Ah, senor, you have excellent taste! Those were the bull’s testicles from the bull-fight this morning. A delicacy!”
The American was momentaril y daunted when he learnt the origin of the dish. But then he said, “What the hell? I am on vacation! Bring me an order!”
The waiter replied, “I am sorry, senor. There is only one serving a day, since there is only one bull-fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, you will be sure to have this delicacy!”
The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After he finishes them, he called the waiter over and said, “Thanks. They were gorgeous, but smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!”
The waiter replied, ” Si, senor, I know. But sometimes the bull wins.”

And finally; it’s long, but this is the testimony of one guard who was at Gitmo. Gives you perspective. But overall: sickening. Just click HERE.