Thu. Mar 28th, 2024

THE NEWS PAUPER
By W.B. Dunne

To Whom It May Concern

Ill begin with my vitals…Caucasian male, about fifty, American born and bred. There is nothing exceptional about me my life, my views, or my intelligence. I have received what little education I have at the pleasure of disinterested-at-best institutions, followed by the meanderings of an undisciplined mind through whatever source happened to be at hand.

As if in order to bolster the myth that America produces the most unlikely of opportunities, I have been tapped by the venerable Tattlesnake to contribute to the LT Saloon. To prove that hes as crazy to think I am up to this task as he is succinct in everything hes expressed in all of his columns, I have decided to accept.

I am awash in trepidation over my shortcomings compared to the other contributors to this site. I perceive them all as having some ability, direction, and validity that I do not. I am petrified over the possibility of having to defend my views with coherent and compelling argument when my natural inclinations tend toward the irrational.

Talking about something one knows little or nothing about is fraught with danger when facts are not fixed around policy. That has been reinforced for us all in the past decade. That the world would be a safer place today if a certain Texan had stayed in Texas is now an accepted and widely held opinion. The television cant be trusted anymore, and I think I may do as well at this as a Joe the plumber does, maybe better.

This is the only motivation I can see worth the risk. If I can make a point that improves the prospect of success in the face of the catastrophic failure of the Reagan ideology, or the death- dealing usurpations of the Bush/Cheney nightmareI owe it to my country to do so.

The pen name is W.B. Dunne, but yall can call me Willthe column will consist mainly of views inspired by current events, a few philosophic ramblings, and an occasional digression from past columns that prove a slight clairvoyance. There will be some authorized music clips from unknown artists that I hope youll like. It certainly remains in the realm of possibilities that an entertaining cyber-row may erupt, or that I may make some prescient remark that amazes us all. I further insure that although I am too lazy to plagiarize, I am prone to esoteric referencesbut, never in a creepy Dennis Miller kind of way.

The column is entitled The News Pauper, and I sincerely hope it pleases.

Signed,

W.B. Dunne

2009 W.B. Dunne. All Rights Reserved.

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