ANNAPOLIS, MD—Senator and former presidential candidate John McCain is gone but not forgotten. As evidence of this, the White House has revealed that early every morning President Donald Trump makes the trek to McCain’s grave so he can stand there and shout abuse at it.

“So I’m still alive today!” Trump said to McCain’s grave in his last visit. “How about you? Oh. No witty comeback? Ha!” Trump laughed, but then his mood quickly turned darker and he yelled, “You think you’re better than me?!” before kicking the grave and hurting his foot.

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