“‘Chef’ says, ‘Soon coming to a non-Jewish deli near you!'”
Newsflash! Newsflash! Newsflash! Newsflash! Newsflash! Newsflash!
YOS News Service: Washington, D.C., December 17th- Last night President Obama died from a long bout with wimpycompromiseitis. Joe Biden couldn’t be found: he was too busy talking, and talking and talking. However Senator Joe “I get Joe-mentum by being a lying jackass” Lieberman declared that the presidency was now his. And since all evidence in the past year points to whatever Lieberman wants, Lieberman gets, he was appointed to the presidency.
Early this morning, in his first news conference, President Lieberman appointed his Vice President.
“I knew you all thought I’m too tied in with big Pharma, so the ghost of even Ken Lay was out. Instead I chose the ghost of another well known world leader. And, after discussing the state of the nation with him previous to this press conference, we have decided that the whole nation is to strip naked. Then we will have you line up either to the politically correct Right, or on the straight into the flames Left. The locations: in front of the secret “Polly Wants a Quaker” Easy Bake Ovens KBR/Halliburton has been building across the nation by direction of our former VP: Biggus Dickus.”
Ordered to the front of the line, headed straight towards the flames, was Droopy Dog.
“I don’t know what I did wrong, I just commented I didn’t like it when Joe copies me. Once my career was, ‘Going up Sir.’ Now it’s ‘Going down, Sir.'”
On the bright side it was released by the new administration the well toasted remains of Droopy Dog will be shipped by the Oscar Myer Corporation, and enjoyed by the remaining Aryan children all across the country. Look for the company logo and the name: Joe’s a Corporate Sell Out Weiner..
President Lieberman then said, “I will now retire to the former White House, now renamed by our new ghost from Hell-VP: ‘Reichstag 2.’ I will leave the country in the hands of our very capable ghost from Hell-Vice President who will be conferring with all the big corporations and the military. After all, what could happen?”