Written by Ken Carman

Why did I go away?
How can I explain?
Living with hurt
By remote control
Would have drained
My sane

Hurt
Without a single touch

Hurt
With just a look

Hurt
By being there
Yet hardly there at all

You could not hear
Though your ears
Had been told
All that was left
For me
Was hurt
By remote control…

Some ways
Too easy I’d say
To use my mind
And replay
The more marvelous days
But also ponder
Days seemed cursed
Yet I will never
Ever
Miss the worst
Of the worst

When your laughter became
A blood stained razor
Each knowing smile
Each sarcastic smirk
A hammer claw
Intended
To rip me apart

I couldn’t even start
To drain my life down
Misery’s black hole again
So since I couldn’t even start
To protect my own heart
Or silence my head
I killed us instead

Such a suicide
Still leaves ghosts
But they do my bidding
Not yours
Though I hope
If told
You’d say you had no intent
To hurt
By remote control

Does it matter?
What was once warm
Had turned
So damn cold
You
Held all the cards
I
Decided to fold
And then
Never again
Be hurt
By remote control

Though
I sense
You might
Some nights
Wish you owned
Some device
To torment this heart
Just so then
Once again
You could
Push my buttons
Flip those old
Painful
Levers
I severed
So very long ago

Hurt…
By remote control
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Copyright 2010
Ken Carman
all rights reserved