Dear Tattlesnake:
What is wrong with the GOP? Do you know?
Signed,
Worried in VT
Dear Worried:
The International Journal of Psychology claims that 20 to 25 percent of the population in any modern industrialized nation has some degree of serious brain damage or crippling psychosis. In America, we call those people ‘Republicans.’
Hey You Turkey Boy:
The Rethuglicans are thieves and liars and the Democants are wimpy and can’t get anything done and third parties are a total joke. So who do I vote for?
Signed,
Who Gives a Hairy Crap in WI
Dear Who Cares:
Anyone who opens an email to a stranger with ‘Hey You Turkey Boy’ and signs themselves as ‘Who Gives a Hairy Crap’ isn’t someone who should be voting. Put your mind at ease, what’s left of it, and stay home on Election Day.
Dear Mr. Tattlesnake:
With this new Supreme Court ruling that gives Constitutional rights to corporations, I incorporated myself. Now if I commit a crime, can’t I just dissolve the corporation before they put me in jail?
Signed,
Del Inc. in Delavan
Dear Del Inc.:
Good idea, why don’t you try that. I’ve always wondered who goes to jail when a corporation commits a crime you could be a test case.
Dear Tattlesnake:
What’s the best way to put teabags on my hat, glue or what? I want them there permanent-like, mind you.
Signed,
The Newtster
Dear Newtster:
A real teabagger doesn’t affix teabags to his hat; he staples them directly to his head. Don’t worry, if you’re a real teabagger, you won’t feel any pain.
Send your questions to editor@ltsaloon.org with ‘Ask the Tattlesnake’ in the subject line.
2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Hey, RS, the checked the mail and you missed this one…
Dear Tattleblake, uh clayk, uh…
I cun see Russia from my porch. I dink dah Commies are comin. Is Oblama inviting them, to take over? Any suggeeestions? Watt should I do?
Oh, and I shot a Moose, or did I Tripp and shoot Trig instead?
Mildly Concerned in Ah-Las-Kah
I guess I did miss that one! 😉 My advice to Mildly Concerned: Walk north until your hat floats, or you’re eaten by a hungry polar bear, whichever comes first.