Another one of those “thank GOD they were lost,” scripts. Instead we had a “whale” of a time. The Enterprise: swinging it’s way back through time after a visit to the past. Yes, “swinging.” On its way it “dated” a neutron star before it was neutered, a planet with several rings on it from the Old Time Mormon system and some rather kinky Lesbians from the “Do You Really Buy We’re All That Bi” Lesbo system. In the end, it swung its way through the backasswards time travel portal next to the Male Gay Planet, because there are fewer portals to use when you’re male and Gay. On the way to their destination they went through the face forwards portal. Scribe would get all techie and describe how it works, but that would be a… mouthful.
Note that the Enterprise “swung its way,” using both fly around the sun fast and time portal methods. That’s because with a Captain like Kirk you try fill as many portals as possible.
Kirk: Spock… have you noticed Sue Lu is acting strange?
Spock: Other than wearing a skirt, carrying a sword and using it on other cast members?
Kirk: Yes, he’s lopping off heads then eating brains.
Spock: It’s only logical Captain.
Kirk: Some possibly Japanese guy in a miniskirt lopping heads off on a ship going faster than the speed of light after traveling through time many times… how is that defined as “logical,” Mr. Spock?
Want to read more whacked out olde wheezer geezer Trek? LTSaloon’s Lutin Muse Literary magazine lets you get more WARPED…