Written by Dylan Brody

MORNING NEWS
We have today an exclusive interview with Convicted murderer Troy Davis, scheduled for execution this afternoon. Mr. Davis, thanks for being with us.

TROY
I’m happy to be with you. You know, for now.

MORNING NEWS
Of course. So, listen, I know you’re scheduled to die later on today, I can imagine you have a lot on your mind and I would love to just let you talk, but I am feeling a little bit pressed for time.

TROY
Tell me about it.

MORNING NEWS
Well, I have several pieces to record and edit in time for broadcast on Friday and I have to pick up my son later on from –

TROY
I was being sardonic.

MORNING NEWS
Ah. Well. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

TROY
Please. I would like to take this chance, once again to proclaim my innocence.

MORNING NEWS
Of course. Now the question on everyone’s lips –

TROY
You know who hasn’t been out protesting against my execution? Right-to-life people. If I were a fetus they’d be all over this like Breitbart on a fictitious scandal.

MORNING NEWS
Ashton Kutcher.

TROY
What?

MORNING NEWS
How do you think he did in his first turn as Charlie Sheen’s replacement?

TROY
I didn’t see it. I was trying to convince the courts that when all the witnesses recant their testimony and claim coercion on the part of the police, there’s a possibility that the verdict was wrong.

MORNING NEWS
Fair enough.

TROY
Not even close to fair.

MORNING NEWS
Have you seen The New Girl?

TROY
What new girl?

MORNING NEWS
With Zoey Deschanel. The sit com.

TROY
No. I – What? I’ve been a little bit busy with appeals and – Is this a joke?

MORNING NEWS
We just try to keep things from getting too heavy hear on the Morning News. We deal with a lot of pressing news in fairly dark times but we are, ultimately in the business of getting people to stay tuned in for he next batch of commercials and the new fall schedule is really just getting underway this week.

TROY
They’re going to put me to death for something I didn’t do. I hoped you were going to help me tell my story.

MORNING NEWS
Speaking of stories, this new GRIMM series looks pretty interesting, doesn’t it? Fairy tales crossed with a procedural drama?

TROY
Oh, for the love of god, kill me.

MORNING NEWS
You don’t like the premise.

TROY
No. I mean, this is horrible. Let’s just do this already. Kill me now.

MORNING NEWS
There you have it, folks. From Troy Davis himself, a scathing review of the new GRIMM series.

TROY
I have to go.

MORNING NEWS
Of course. I’m sure you have a lot of other things to do.

TROY
Just the one.

MORNING NEWS
It was great having you on the show.

TROY
They’re coming. Tell them I didn’t do it. Tell them.

MORNING NEWS
What a great interview! Troy Davis himself, condemned prisoner, giving us his take on the fall TV premieres.

TROY
WAIT!! Are you there?!?! Tell them I’m innocent! I don’t want to die!?!?!

MORNING NEWS
Come back next week when we’ll have accused sexual predator and managing director of the International Monetary Fund on the show. We’ll ask him all about CONTAGION and the newly released 3-D version of Disney’s THE LION KING.

_______

About the author

Dylan Brody writes and performs humorous short stories and whimsical essays in venues around L.A. and across the country. A thrice-published author and award-winning playwright, he has performed stand-up comedy on A & E’s Comedy On the Road and Fox TV’s Comedy Express and recently was honored to present a story at the New York Public Library’s Tribute to George Carlin, hosted by Whoopi Goldberg. Mr Brody’s CDs Brevity and True Enough are available through Amazon.com and iTunes. He lives in Sylmar, CA, a location he describes as “crap neighborhood adjacent.”