Inspection- Of Monopoly, Mike’s Mistake and Parents vs. the State
So much has happened since I started this edition of Inspection that I felt compelled to comment on three topics…
Monopoly
I have been a Sirius Satellite Radio customer for several years now. I’m somewhat, somewhat not, satisfied with the service. Some of the decisions of their programmers make regular commercial radio programmers look smart. Imagine this: you’re handed an opportunity to do everything FM was supposed to do like…
1. Play odd cuts from known acts.
2. Play new and struggling acts.
3. Have exotic programming, like real DJs allowed to play music as if it isn’t grown on some top 40 chart tree…
4. …or fantasy talk radio like one host in Atlanta during the 90s. He would address national issues through role playing with his audience.
While Sirius has at least tried, XM would have none of that. I remember their CEO disparaging their competition once saying that they would make sure their programming was as mainstream and non-offensive as possible. “Just like FM only without the commercials,” is a quote I remember from the interview.
Goodie. Don’t we have enough of that already? I swear these guys think the only reason consumers would pay for what advertising provides them for free is a lack of commercials. Actually, I find creative commercials can be quite entertaining. I can even imagine a “commercial channel” where they play really whacked out ads. Instead XM offers what is already pitiful, weak, programming non-stop. Sometimes it’s a little like being locked in a room for eternity with Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I’ve Got Love in My Tummy, locked on repeat.
Sirius is a tad better. They don’t provide a channel with funny commercials, but they do have the Gay channel: Out Q, Howard Stern… as much as I don’t care for his style it is unique… but they also interrupt channels for sports all the time… (I pay them to screw me out of streams I’ve paid for, essentially.) … and take some of their most popular channels, like The Bridge which featured singer-songwriters, and turn it into a 24 hour Bruce Springsteen stream; just to give one example out of far too many. Even if I could understand that nasal drone of his, or liked his songs, I’d still wonder why they insist on pirating their own popular channel for the sake of the few who might be interested in being able listen to that damn drone 24/7. But the programming trend at Sirius is headed in the opposite direction with the Elvis stream: another non-favorite of mine, the Rolling Stones stream and the soon to be released Minnie Riperton stream where all they do is play that hideous high note over, and over, and over…
(Yes, I am kidding: kind of.)
But when it comes to their regular channels they simply mimic XM. If you expect to hear some odd cut from your favorite group: forget it. It’s not even great top 40. I’m amazed that when they play Chicago, for instance, it seems their collection is limited to two or three hits. Forget hearing whole album sides, or comparing different versions of the same songs by different artists, or playing several songs of the same theme or feel right after each other: some of the many things my audiences loved when I was in radio, but anal program directors hated. Satellite radio, XM or Sirius, is mostly wasting a wonderful opportunity for being inventive, creative and getting listeners actually excited about radio again. FM kind of did that to AM, which is why, until Limbaugh, AM was like a lingering, terminal cancer patient. Of course Limbaugh simply gave us all another kind of cancer, but that discussion is probably best saved for another edition of Inspection entitled: “An Ego Bigger and More Lethal Than All the Depleted Uranium in Iraq.”
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Now the Justice Department has decided it’s OK for them to merge. Here is their argument…
“Although the two companies operate the only satellite radio firms in the US market, the Justice Department said there is ‘a lack of competition between the parties in important segments, even without the merger, and that consumers may still choose ‘alternative services.'”