NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)---The National Football League has expanded its list of banned substances to include the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, the league confirmed on Wednesday.…

In the United States, people get shot by their pets, but there's another menace lurking in the American home: armed kitchen utilities. Forty-four-year-old Robin Garlock from Warren, Ohio, put his…

by Ken Carman Tis the season of silly pushed by those I'm sure would claim to mean well. But no one is laughing at the silly: dead children remain dead, school…

Activists warned Charlottesville last year that the Unite the Right rally could turn violent. Now they're determined to keep neo-Nazis out of their city for the anniversary.   onths before…