Tag Archives: Gulf of Mexico

The News Pauper: The Only Thing Youll Ever Need to Know

By W.B. Dunne

Oh, how the News Pauper regrets being able to think critically! My time would be so much better spent with the masses, speculating aimlessly for hours about how to survive the coming calamities. Should I join a group or enclave of doomers? How much duct tape should I have put aside for my children and grandchildren if the manufacture of such stuff ends suddenly?

In case the reader has missed the sarcasm dripping off the last paragraph, he or she is probably on to the trick and about to ask, “where the hell have you been News Pauper?”

Yes, I have been silent for most of the summer due to an utter inability to join in any discussion that doesnt have to do with the disaster we have made of the Gulf of Mexico!
The only thing that exceeds the depth of the effects of this gargantuan fuck up is the callous way the story has been moved down the page by our crippled press and the collusion of all parties to cover up the true nature of the facts.

I find it fascinating that the reason the press has continued to fail us in such grand style is the unspoken pact between us to ignore the reality that the ocean DYING is going to cause most of us to suffocate when it ceases to produce the oxygen we all breathe. In the story of the planets that exist in the universe, ours would be the impulsive, excessive character that takes down not only himself, but everyone aboard.

In true News Pauper fashion I will opine sans links and trust that the reader inherently accepts my credibility enough to spare me the drudgery of all that cutting and pasting.

The reader perhaps already acknowledges the dire vista we face. We are beyond rescue now, fate has judged us on our actions and we will see our destruction not in a war for resources, starring the haves and the have-notsbut in an egalitarian, slow and horrible suffocation and starvation. We will continue to eat the tainted food and drink the tainted water. We will drown in the rising oceans, which hopefully will be so kind as to not be also burning at the time.

So you see, dear reader, that it matters not a whit what you or I do anymore because we Americans allowed ourselves to be manipulated by these greedy corporate assholes straight away into the Book of Revelations. It is too late for regrets; revenge is pointless. The creatures that succeed us will be too busy scrounging for scraps to wonder where all the detritus came from.

So ends mankinds reign on planet earth.

Never have so few taken so much from so many.

Contact the author at WBDunne@LTSaloon.org

2010 W.B. Dunne. All Rights Reserved.

The News Pauper: Peak Oil Solved!

By W.B. Dunne

The NP was going to lead with a clever quip such as, “You want oil? Well give ya oil!” in an attempt to conjure in the mind of the reader some adage which reminds us to be careful what we pray for. Now we have so much oil that the main occupation of anyone that once walked the sugar sand beaches of west Florida will be cleaning up the treasure disgorged from a hole in the ocean floor. Now the energy policy of the Cheney White House will need to be brought out into the light, so the blame of a generation of lost property values in the gulf states will have a place to lie. Now we have so much oil that the pond south of Texas will become a giant stinking flammable reservoir, filled with the carcasses of the fish, birds, and men in unfortunate proximity. The once-prized beachfront acreage will now be home to the birth defects caused by the residual environmental poisoning.

Mother Nature has sent a strong undeniable message here peopleBig Oil bit off more than they could chew, and the defacto nationalization of the energy industry has just taken place. Big Oils first move when the reality of this event set in was to try to get as many people in the gulf states as possible to sign away their rights to sue for a payment of $5 grand! Of course, the industry cannot begin to effect a solution to the problem they have lobbied their asses off to create so who is in fact doing so? The Federal Government, thats who.

The NP groans at the idea of the contortions needed to take on the logical leap necessary for the polarized factions in this country to take this message and do the right thing with it. Unemployed? Cleanup. Vacation? Cleanup. We should provide free housing, food, laundry, and transportation to anyone willing to spend time assisting in the CLEANUP. We need an unprecedented level of action to deal with the immediate and to design the new model that will replace this outmoded, irresponsible, planet wrecking, corporate mess. The entire board of British Petroleum should be out there in hip waders trying to save the turtles that theyve poisoned. To see the CEO untarring the feathers of an endangered brown pelican would squelch somewhat my urge to tar and feather HIM.

When the NP thinks about the reality of the fact that the budget for one commercial touting the image of the energy giants as responsible partners would have covered the expense for the device that would have prevented this disasterhe contemplates the peaceful manatee to regain a grip on his composure.

All the NP is saying is that what has happened here falls far beyond the need for regulation of corrupt rich men that will do anything to get richer. What has been demonstrated in very high relief is that these companies cannot act like citizens; they are incapable, beyond putting out a few ads, of performing the basic civil functions. They have proven disastrously again and again that they lie, and when theyre caught, they lie again. Anything short of total takeover by people that understand what responsibility means, in the face of such a large-scale example of this, is nothing less than surrender to these sociopathic corporations. There is nothing to the idea that one can insulate oneself from the death of the planet with money and position, as there is nothing to the idea that we can continue to live with this large-scale criminal enterprise we call global corporatism.

When we starve because the earth is so poisoned that it wont sustain us because of the behavior of a few very greedy men, will there be a castle strong enough to protect them?

The meek shall inherit the earth, indeed.

2010 WB Dunne. All Rights Reserved.