Tag Archives: McCain

The Tattlesnake Obama’s Not Black Anymore Edition

In my informal surveys of John and Jane Q. Public-Sixpack over the years (and usually conducted near a six-pack), I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon the more well-known and admired a black person is, the less black they become in the mind of the average honky mo-fo.

Denzel Washington, Halle Berry, Sidney Poitier, Bill Cosby, et al their skin color faded to neutral as their popularity with whites increased. Oprah Winfrey’s audience is comprised mainly of white women do they think of her as black? No, she’s just ‘Oprah,’ girlfriend. Caucasian-Americans have embraced Michael Jordan, William “The Refrigerator” Perry, and scores of black sports stars as one of their own without regard to skin shade what white sports nut wouldn’t rather hang out with Jordan than some mediocre ofay B-Ball player? And the Super Bowl a couple of years ago between the Chicago Bears and Indianapolis Colts was played by teams with black head coaches. No big whup.

In the music world, Ray Charles, Chuck Berry, James Brown, B.B. King, Otis Redding, Jimi Hendrix and others have all transcended race and now have more white fans than black. The pop music of every generation since the beginning of the 20th century, true American music blues, jazz, soul, rock, and even much of country all originated with black musicians in the South. Generations of white children have been conceived to the colorless ballads of Barry White, Lionel Ritchie and Isaac Hayes.

Let me put it this way, Barack Obama has been part of the national public consciousness for about two years now and he’s generally perceived by white America as an affable, intelligent, calm, non-threatening man, and he’s world famous, so his color has become immaterial.

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The Tattlesnake Electoral Enigmas and Other Wacky Weirdness Edition

Laugh-a-bull: McCain’s top pollster Bill McInturff appeared on MSNBC with Chuck “Not Related to Crazy Ashley” Todd on Halloween. To put it politely, McInturff was pissing up a rope trying to sell some bizarre notion that this election is somehow similar to 1984 and 1996 and is tightening up to the point that McPalin can pull off a win. Hell-o, Bill both those years featured a popular incumbent peacetime president and an economy that wasn’t crashing to the ground and taking a devastated middle class with it. He also blabbered on inanely about armies of older, rural white voters crawling to the polls to catapult Wrinkles and the Winker into the Oval Office. This is big-box absurd the majority of Americans, some 80 percent, live in or near a city there aren’t enough rural voters, even if every single one voted for Mac and Cheesy, to elect him as president. Todd can be commended for keeping a straight face during McInturff’s lunatic raving, no doubt designed to buck up the flagging morale of the depressed Republican base. (Hey, Bill, poll this: Obama’s a point behind McCain in his home state of Arizona four days before the election.)

Laugh-a-bull Two: What if the polls showed Bush the Junior suddenly popular with independent and undecided voters? McCain would be rushing to the nearest microphone, “My friends, I’d like to remind you that I voted with President Bush 92 percent of the time and Governor Palin and I embrace all of his wonderful policies! Why, I’m just like him!” with the High-Heeled Sneaker nodding in agreement, “Oh, you betcha! President Bush is the original maverick all right!”

Think About It: What if Obama had picked a vacuous lightweight like Sarah Palin? Imagine what the Sunday Morning Punditrocracy would be bloviating about then: “Unquestionably, Sen. Obama has shown very little regard for the American people and the office of the presidency with his vice presidential pick.” “Absolutely, George. It shows an unbelievable contempt for the public and reflects very badly on his judgment — it points up a total lack of maturity to do the job!” “And I understand he only interviewed her for an hour before choosing her!” “Simply incredible. I think with this rash and foolish decision, Sen. Obama has demonstrated he would be an extremely dangerous choice for president in these times of national crisis!” “You won’t find any disagreement with that on this panel, Cokie. We’ll be back after these messages.”

BTW: Who is paying for ‘average working guy with a publicist’ Joe the Plumber to bop around to McCain rallies and how did a $42,000-a-year plumber’s helper (he doesn’t have an Ohio plumber’s license) get so much time off from work to gobble to the media his self-confessed ignorant opinions and pursue his pre-failed country music singing career? (What will be his first release, “Take This Job and Shove It”?) Inquiring minds want to know.

Disappointed? Where was our October Surprise this year? (And I was planning a party, too.) No tapes from Bin Laden saying, “I am your father, Barack”; no false flag attacks on Castro Street in SF; no sudden end to the Iraq disaster, “See, The Surge worked we won!”; no nothing. Did some Bushophile slip up, or is the stage being set for Brother Jeb in 2012 after McPalin is buried in a landslide?

What Say You? Bill Clinton runs for Governor of New York while Obama nominates Hillary to the Supreme Court? Big Dog Bubba has a political jones that won’t be satisfied loafing around the house, going on the lecture circuit, or traveling around as ambassador-at-large he needs an elected office and he wouldn’t mind making history as the first president who also served as governor of two different states.

The Tattlesnake Obama Infomercial Seals the Deal Edition

While the Tattler doesn’t usually like the kind of wan-music-in-the-background soft emotional porn of the ‘Oprah-ized’ infomercial, Obama’s half-hour spot Wednesday night avoided most of the worst aggravations of this TV clich窠especially the forlorn solo piano music sound track with flourishes of swelling strings redolent of tacky video matchmaking and cancer treatment center ads.

It featured battleground-state stereotypes a laid-off white male Ford Motors worker, a Latina woman trying to make ends meet, an elderly black couple hampered by chronic illness and worried about the future, et al — struggling with life in Bush’s downsized economy, but at least the people were real and their stories didn’t sink into cheesy Lifetime-channel melodrama; Obama’s interspersions in office surroundings reminiscent of Camp David were obviously intended to make the Low-and-Slow-Information-Voters of Middle America, awaiting the ballgame, feel comfortable with him as president, which was the main point of this smart $4 million investment.

Obama laid out his economic plans clearly, appeared mature and confident, and didn’t, as I recall, mention Sen. McMoribund or the Ice Princess even once. Contrast this with tone-deaf McCain’s free hour on Larry King following Obama’s spot in a country thirsting for unity and a different direction, he mostly griped about Obama and reprised the half-baked GOP themes of the past four election cycles, although he finally admitted he really didn’t believe his Democratic opponent was a socialist, negating all of the frantic rhetoric emanating from his campaign to the contrary. (Incidentally, if you know anyone who supports McCain, ask them exactly what he plans to do about the economy that is fundamentally any different from what Bush has done.)

Bill McInturff, McCain’s lead pollster, claims he has internal numbers that contradict the national polls showing Obama way ahead he proclaimed that McCain was “functionally tied” with Obama (whatever that means), but didn’t comment on why, if that’s true, McCain has been forced to spend money defending states that have safely been in the Republican column for decades, including his home state of Arizona. (Perhaps McInturff has been consulting the same secret figures Karl Rove used in 2006 when he boasted to an NPR reporter that the Republicans would hold Congress — “You may end up with a different math, but you’re entitled to your math, I’m entitled to the math.” Two weeks later, the GOP was blown out by the Dems in the off-year election. Following the drubbing, it leaked that Rove’s fatuous optimism was merely a ‘job requirement’ and not based on any inside information in other words, ‘the math’ was entirely in his head.)

McInturff’s private polls notwithstanding, and barring a monumental screw-up by Obama or Biden, or some sort of, at this point, impractical and impracticable mass voting treachery by the GOP, you can get used to saying ‘President Obama’ after next Tuesday.

Wednesday night’s well-produced infomercial sealed the deal.

The Tattlesnake — That Son of a Bush McCain Edition

Republican’s Confused Performance on MTP Emblematic of His Entire Campaign

All you could do is shake your head at the pathetic hat-in-hand creature that John McCain has become in his ‘man for all seasons’ pandering for votes as he grinningly jabbered, at times nearly incoherent, on Meet the Press with Tom Brokaw October 26th.

There was his complacent, auto-pilot mien coupled with his sometimes bungled Talking Point responses, and his ‘here we go loop-the-loop’ themes, as when Brokaw played a tape of McCain from June 2005 expounding: “The fact is that I’ve agreed with President Bush far more than I have disagreed. And on the transcendent issues, the most important issues of our day, I have been totally in agreement and support of President Bush,” followed by the McCain of today sketching out his supposed major differences with Junior on the Iraq War, the economy, pork-barrel spending, climate change, deficit spending, the growing size of government, the housing crisis, campaign finance reform, et al in other words, ‘the most important issues of our day.’

Brokaw also brought up his voting with Bush 92 percent of the time (according to the Congressional Quarterly) and McCain fielded that by mystifyingly mumbling, “Well, it may be the way you describe it.” What ‘may be the way you describe it,’ Senator? The portrait Brokaw was painting, albeit in soft watercolors, was of a king-high hypocrite and liar who can’t be trusted is that what you meant?

McCain also expressed his odd sense of ‘pride’ in Palin, apparently earned by attracting and firing up the kind of crowds he couldn’t collect on his own the nutcase GOP base and her possession of some sort of magical ‘executive experience’ while remaining virtually completely ignorant of the world around her or how the government of her own nation works. He also didn’t delve into what part of her abuse of power in Troopergate or the newly discovered crony corruption in her main accomplishment as governor Alaska’s $40 billion natural gas pipeline — inspired what the Bible says goes before a fall.

Along the way he momentarily forgot one-fifth of the former Secretaries of State who have endorsed him sorry, George Schultz; insisted he and Sarah Palin were ‘mavericks,’ a word that has officially jumped the shark into the Land of One-Word Laughs; and parried with Brokaw over polls he failed to recognize that showed him losing big while embracing those that had him down by a only few points, another typical McCain ‘have my cake and eat it too’ moment.

This, then, was the denial-of-reality and schizophrenia of the worst presidential campaign in modern history in the flesh while McCain tries to sell himself as a reformer unpopular within his own party, he turns around in the next instant and claims he shares the “common philosophy of the Republican Party”; while he castigates Obama as a ‘socialist’ for wanting to raise taxes on the wealthy to pre-Bush levels, he refuses to own up that he was apparently a ‘socialist’ himself several years ago when he opposed Bush’s tax cuts for the rich; while he’s been a consistent deregulator and supporter of global corporations in his 26-year career in politics who worships Phil Gramm as an economic genius, he believes in nationalizing banks and buying up bad loans in a crisis to save the economy his policies helped devastate, and therein is the crux of McCain’s overarching problem: he ultimately wants to try and revive the economy with the same trickle-down, unregulated free market, low-tax solutions that caused the crisis in the first place. How many times can you slap yourself in the forehead? If John McCain had any sense left, his brow would be purple from bruises.

McCain is simultaneously for and against the last thirty years of Reagan’s Republican Party — in short, whatever blows your skirt up, McCain’s your man; he can get on both sides of an issue at the same time.

McCain is fond of asking disparagingly “Who is Barack Obama?” — it’s obvious what he should have been asking was “Who is John McCain?”

As the polls he disagrees with show, that’s exactly the question most voters are asking themselves with less than two weeks before the election and the answer most arrive at is, “Who cares who John McCain is — I’m voting for the black guy with the funny name.”

The Tattlesnake Campaigning on the Bizarre B-Side Edition

Was Ashley Todd’s Imaginary Attack a Desperate Rovian Dirty Trick?

Not to be callous, but your slow-on-the-draw Tattler admits that when he first heard, partially awake, on the radio that someone named Ashley Todd was assaulted by a tall black man in Pittsburgh because she had a McCain sticker on her car, and the added fillip that the alleged attacker had ‘carved a B on her cheek,’ I thought the announcer was talking about the insect, as in, ‘he inscribed a BEE on her cheek,’ and a surreal mental scenario followed that featured an angry tattoo artist yelling, “Hey, c’mon you, hold still while I finish this wing!”

The story seemed a little suspicious from the git-go and Thom Hartmann noted on his radio show Friday that the ‘B’ was backwards, the way someone not-too-bright and looking in a mirror would sketch a ‘B’ on her cheek.

Later in the day, after John McCain and Sarah Palin had rushed to the phones to offer their condolences to the 20-year-old Texas Republican, Ashley confessed that she had invented the whole lurid tale it was a tasteless hoax, apparently designed to make Obama supporters, and particularly those of the large black male variety, look bad.

Aside from the hideous Susan Smith aspect to the false charge, and the chance that the Pittsburgh police might have commenced a wholesale harassment of black men to find the nonexistent perpetrator, McCain and Palin’s haste to involve themselves in the incident bespeaks two things: a.) They were trying to make political hay out of this young woman’s misfortune, which calls into question their judgment or b.) The McCain campaign was somehow in on the deal, which paints them as over-the-edge con artists.

Todd had worked for the College Republican National Committee in New York, and recently moved to Pennsylvania to act as a full-time McCain-Palin volunteer on behalf of the group. (The College Republicans are the same organization that spawned such upstanding GOP choirboys as Jack Abramoff, Karl Rove and Ralph Reed.)

As yet, there is no evidence that the McCain campaign was directly involved, but it wouldn’t be hard to imagine the impact that the ugly tableau of a fiendish black male sexually attacking a young white lady might have on rural Caucasians in Pennsylvania, a state McCain must win in order to have any shot at the presidency. Joe the Plumber move over, here comes the Scary Obama-Supporting Black Sexual Predator.

Under-the-radar rumors of creepy McCainiacs trying to goad Obama voters into violence while media cameras are present have been floating around recently, the invective particularly aimed at inciting dark-skinned Obamaites, but not much has come of it up to now except some of the demented Starboard Side of the Blogosphere typically and perversely whining about those mean lefties trying to smack down Republicans who wave around McCain-Palin signs in public. (Yep from the same crowd that counts among its ‘base’ tolerant sophisticates who shout “Kill him!” and “Traitor!” at McPalin academic retreats.)

As the always effervescent-with-bile Michelle Malkin elucidates: “The Obamedia diaper-wetters are gripped with fear over a few over-the-line catcalls at McCain-Palin rallies.”

Uh, it’s not just a ‘few over-the-line catcalls’ at the downhome Bund affairs; it’s a river of right-wing effluvium oozing endlessly from the TV screen, computer monitor and radio speaker, as well. (And Michelle herself could use a mirror.)

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